Knocked Up

This film gets a big BOOT

Can a film get any worse? I walked out on this one after about twenty agonizing minutes. What a waste of film. Plot: ugly idiot gets smart, beautiful, successful, women pregnant…. It was easy to see where it was headed…she keeps the baby and really falls in love with the jerk. Can it get much worse I ask? In real life he couldn’t get close enough to her to take a photo with a Nikon AF-S 600mm lens much less have sex with her. Come on.... Why do those Hollywood producers think the stupider and uglier they make some guy the better equipped he is to get the babes? Why is that? Do they really think it gives hope to the unkempt slobs of the world? What would be the point of that? What are they thinking? The guy that pitched this turkey should be stoned and banned from Hollywood forever.

In The Valley of Elah

Good but not Great

Tommy Lee Jones has a face with so much character that he can carry a scene without saying anything. For that it is worth seeing. As for the story line, well, I am getting a little tired of all the coverup- government- hiding information stuff; we have enough of that in real life. The death of a son was enough of a story in itself and could have been told straight up without all the intrigue. The matter of fact way his murder was described by his Army buddies tells us all we need to know about what war does to young people. It messes them up good. Do the War Lords in Washington ever factor that aspect into their war planning? The killing of human beings is always ordered by old men in suits and uniforms, but the young have to do the deed and pay the price.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

This film gets the BOOT

It’s real hard for me not to like a western, but this film was so badly cast that it fell flat on its face right out of the chute. Brad Pitt is fine for Oceans 11, or any other light hearted role, but to play Jesse James, I’m sorry; oil and water. One doesn’t see Jesse James, one sees Brad Pitt. I imagine he was cast in the role because of his fan base and ticket selling ability. Big mistake. It would take someone like Daniel Day-Lewis to get me to see Jesse up there on the screen. However, I will say that I was impressed with Casey Afflec as Robert Ford the assassin. But because the film moved along so slow, and was over length, like the title, by about an hour, his limited acting ability couldn’t keep it from sinking to the bottom. The best part was after the assassionation where we get to see what happened to Robert Ford. But that's not worth the price of a ticket.

Michael Clayton

Good but not great
What can I say, how can anybody not like to watch George Clooney at his best. The story is hard to follow, but who cares as long as George is somewhere in the scene.

American Gangster

This film gets the BOOT
It is a little too mean and violent for me


I know, there is violence all over America, but why show it as cold blooded in your face murder without feeling. I mean to shoot a man point blank in the head, on a sunny afternoon, with all kinds of people standing around, and then just calmly walk back to finish lunch across the street is plain Hollywood “shock violence for ticket sales” tactics. Does one really think all those people who were standing around would just finish shopping and then go home as if nothing had happened? It would be horrific to see something like that close up. Look at all the heartless killing going on in Iraq these days and look at what it is doing to our young boys. If you want to show the murder, also show the effect it would have on the murdered person’s family and those who witnessed it and had to go home to their families and have dinner. We need a little more cause and effect in movies.

Into The Wild

Not great but good enough

I like Sean Penn’s work as a director. (but I think he overdid the close-ups in this film) The story was interesting enough except for the parts that needed more explaining. For example we see this bus on a bluff overlooking a river. How did it get there? There must have been a road somewhere to get it there, yet our hero starves to death because he can’t find his way out after the snow melt turned the river into a torrent; how about looking for the road that got that bus there in the first place. It didn’t just grow there. Also, the scenes with Hal Holbrooke were a little too contrived for my tastes. But then Sean is a little too young to understand how we elders think and interact with young people.

Hairspray

Gets the BOOT
Bad Plot, Bad acting = Bad movie

Someday John Travolta will regret his participation in this film. It was horrible. Whose idea was this anyway? Plot: fat high school girl with fat mother becomes “cool” and gets the school hunk. How? by dancing…badly. What a waste of time, money, and film. Why do some actors feel the need to dress up like women and make complete fools of themselves? I just don’t get it. I can't believe they couldn’t find a fat woman in Hollywood to play the part….or maybe they all read the script. John, you made a half way credible cowboy in Urban Cowboy, but as a fat lady you’re a bust, and a big one at that.

Maestro Gaxiola "Cowboy Cut" Film Branding

Every year Hollywood sends out a herd of new films. I’m going to round up the 2007 herd, cut and brand (with my “Cross over M” brand) the ones I like and give the BOOT to the ones I don’t. If you want some “artsy” review with hundred dollar sentences and “sensitive” opinions, go read some professional movie reviewer. If you want a, cut to the bone, no body to please, I don’t care what you think or even if you read my review, review, you are at the right place. I guarantee somebody’s feelings are going to get hurt…but they won’t be mine. So if you’re ready….cowboy up and let’s get started!