Walt & El Grupo (2009)

One word. Boring.
Its like being invited over to a friends house then having to sit through ninety minutes of grainy home movies. Save your money.

Food, Inc. (Documentary) (2009)

A woman loses her son to salmonella tainted beef. She tries to find out how this could happen in a country where our food supply is supposed to be carefully monitored by our government. This film pulls back the curtain and shows us what’s going on in back of the store. It delves into every aspect of the planting, growing, raising slaughtering and selling of our nations food supply. We find that only a handful of large corporations grow and process almost all our food and completely control every aspect of it from soil to shelf. It seem as though these corporations will do anything to increase their profits no matter what the risk to our food supply. And because these corporations have legions of attorneys, lobbyists and former employees in high positions in government, those who are supposed to monitor and make sure our food is safe to eat are mostly without any real power to change the situation. So its eat it or die, or in some cases, eat it and die.

Anvil (2009)

I’ve seen Spinal Tap. Anvil is not Spinal Tap. Anvil is a film-o-merical, a film for the promotion and selling of Anvil CD’s.
Stay away, don’t encourage this kind of filmmaking.

A Serious Man (2009)

This is a Coen Brothers film. The Coen Brothers are really good.
Go see their films.…that is…until I tell you not to.

The Informant (2009)

This film is one of those “walk through collect a paycheck” films for Matt Damon. Lots of one take scenes with bad lighting and ho hum acting. (you could tell Matt’s heart wasn’t in it) The story was OK but it could have been handled better by 60 Minutes or 20-20 for a fraction of the cost. Save your ticket money for something more worthwhile..like a double espresso with cream at Peet‘s Coffee.

The Last Truck - The Closing of a GM Plant (Documentary) (2009)

This is a moving and poignant film about the plight of autoworkers during the closing of the GM plant in Moraine, Ohio. Its heartbreaking to watch these hardworking decent people lose not only their jobs but the lifeline to their hopes and dreams. There is no bigger shock to your self-esteem and self-worth than to lose your job, particularly when that job was your life, and your life was that job. Many people on the outside of the car manufacturing culture have little or no sympathy for these workers because they are perceived to have been overpaid and overprotected by unions. What they forget is that we are all Americans, and overpaid or not, it is still difficult to see these fellow Americans up close and personal as they watch the last truck come down the line, the plant close down, and their jobs fade to black like the last scene in a bad movie.

The Fence (Documentary) (2009)

This is a film by Rory Kennedy. The subject is the fence being built along our border with Mexico. Even if we don’t consider the fact that they built a large section on the Mexican side of the border and had to remove and rebuild it on the American side, it is still one of the biggest waste of money ever authorized by the U.S. government. The film shows some Mexican “coyotes” at the fence laughing because they know they can still get through - and they still do, by the thousands. Every wall built to separate people throughout human history has failed. Why governments still believe that walls or fences can keep people separated is a mystery beyond comprehension. Better we focus our resources on learning how to get along with one another.

Inglorious Bastards (2009)

This is a Quentin Tarantino film, and like most of his films it is full of violence of the most egregious kind. I saw him interviewed on the Charlie Rose show and he proudly stated that he is not hindered by any moral consideration whatsoever when he creates his characters. He is willing to spread, through his characters, the notion that Americans are without a sense of morality or decency. Apparently Mr. Tarantino would have no qualms about having one of his characters blow the head off the E-trade baby with a 44 magnum if he thought it would advance his story.

To me that sounds like an American with AIDS who proudly admits he never uses condoms as he goes all around the world having sex. I would like to think that when someone writes a screenplay involving Americans that some consideration is given to what Americans think of themselves and what they would find morally repugnant. It is an important consideration because films have a way of giving people justification for their moral shortcomings. I would like to think there are still some things that Americans think Americans just wouldn’t do. Its sad to think that Quentin Tarantino has no such illusions.

Julia and Julia (2009)

Meryl Streep does it again. She hits a hole in one in this difficult role. Think about it…who else could pull it off ? Some might say she was a little over the top with her rendition of Julia Child. But for me Julia Child was herself an over the top character and requires a characterization in like manner. This was a fun film and worth the price of admission, and a bag of popcorn.....with lots and lots of butter!

The 81st Academy Awards (2008)

Who is Maestro Gaxiola: http://www.artist-link.blogspot.com/

I am happy to report that at this year's Academy Award show all the phony smiles and the insincere adjectives were all left out on the red carpet. (I counted, 26 Fantastics- 21 Amazings and 17 Incredibles) And although some people who know more about stylish fashion than I do said some nasty things about the gowns, I thought everyone looked “mauv-a-lous.”

The show was great. Host Hugh Jackman was a real breath of fresh air. He’s an entertainment triple threat. He can do it all, sing, dance, be humorous, (as opposed to being “funny”) and of coarse he is also an actor which is appropriate for a show giving out awards for people who act. I’m so glad they got rid of those hipper than thou ridiculous comedian hosts who think they are so funny - but are not. Yes you Billy Crystal.

I thought the stage production was first rate and having five star presenters gave out the awards for best actors and supporting actors was a fantastic idea. Way to go!

The down side was Sophia Loren. Please, Sophia, you’re almost eighty, cover yourself up, - your breasts have lost their allure….and that dress…ugh. . Also, enough with the makeup. You looked like you were made of orange plastic. Age gracefully. Your best days are over. You’re no longer twenty, accept it with humility. Don‘t go on embarrassing yourself in public. Genuinely “aged” Italians are beautiful.

The biggest disappointment for me personally was Mickey Rourke. When I saw the Wrestler I said Mickey Rourke was “Randy the Ram” and I foolishly expected that Mickey Rourke had resurrected himself just as the Ram had. I thought he had finally figured it out and he was back, broken but repaired. I was totally wrong. The “new” Mickey Rourke is nothing new. He’s back on the Hollywood phony track with all engines running. He’s got the petal to the metal, getting more miles to the smiles than ever before. So much for being the real deal.

I’m not surprised he didn’t win best actor. When I saw him stagger up to the podium in all his phoniness on the Golden Globes with sun glasses on and his long straggly unwashed hair hanging over his right eye I said to myself…so much for this guy, he’s toast. He just doesn’t get it. We wanted to see Randy the Ram up there not some Las Vegas gambler dude in a white suit coat and white shoes with no socks, dripping with gold and silver chains.. how phony can you get.

You blew into town and caused a real buzz, but its already over pal. We’ll be looking for you working as a casino greeter on some small cruse ship working the L.A. to Acapulco route. I think that’s what your fellow resurrected actor Bert Reynolds is doing these days.

I’m sorry to tell you this Mickey my boy, but this was your last chance to get it right and you blew it big time. You’re 56, grow up, stop smoking, take a good look in the mirror, get yourself some decent clothes, put on some socks and go live in Bakersfield for a few years…you’ll get the picture.

Its really too bad…you could have been a contender…

Vicky Christina Barcelona

This film gets the BOOT!
Whoa, time warp alert, time warp alert! The Time Train pulled out of the sixties forty years ago but Woody Allen forget to get his ticket to ride. Poor guy, he’s still stuck back there making movies with sixties images and sensibilities. Hey Woody, news flash! Europe is no longer the romantic capitol of the world, and dark handsome Spaniards are more likely to be Muslims than white American tourists seducers. As for art, Woody you disappoint me. The time for slash, splash, and roll, abstract painting is soooo over. And using that outdated cliché of a painter throwing paint at a canvas in paint splattered cloths to make him look like a “serious out of control genius” ..please….you’re embarrassing yourself. Maybe we should send a bus back to pick you up, - but its probably too late, your brain wrinkles are probably set for good by now.

The Visitor

I give this film the BOOT!
This is a story of an old, very boring, college professor.…he’s so boring I fell asleep. I don’t remember what happened….. I think maybe he plays the bongos because I remember hearing bongo drums. If you’re having trouble sleeping I totally recommend this film as a way to get a good nights sleep without using drugs.

Frozen River

I liked this film a lot. Visually it reminded me a bit of the Coen Bros., Fargo. The pace and timing was good and the film rolled along nicely. It was a continuous ride with no speed bumps or stop signs. No sex or mean violence either. I liked that. The story is about people smuggling in upstate New York, small time stuff, almost amateurish in a way. It takes place at the Canadian border on the Mohawk Reservation. The main reason I think this film worked so well is because it was directed, and the screenplay was written by a women, Courtney Hunt. The real guts of the film is about mothers and their natural instincts to care and protect their young. It is a very moving subplot that could only be told by a woman. Courtney Hunt has been nominated for Best Director, and Melissa Leo, who played the leading roll, was nominated for Best Actress in this years Academy Awards nominations. I hope they both win because this was a fine piece of filmmaking and they both deserve it.

Rachel Getting Married

This film gets the BOOT
You are invited to a wedding. The bride is a young white college graduate who is marrying a young African American. The big wedding is an international affair with a smorgasbord of music, food, dress, and people - its like a big get-together party at the UN.
Its just dripping with interrogation, love, and togetherness. “It’s a small world after all!”
However, screenwriter Jenny Lumet, (daughter of director Sidney Lumet whose work,” Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead,” I reviewed last year) manages to screw up this commingling of open-minded and open-hearted people by dropping into its midst the bride's drug/alcohol addicted younger sister. She gets a furlough from the detox center to attend the wedding and as soon as she arrives she starts having stand up sex with the best man. Why Ms Lumet would send this emotional suicide bomber, with a ton of emotional explosives strapped to her waist, into this mix is beyond me. When she detonates it makes the film look like you are watching two movies simultaneously. Its no fun at all.
So my advice to you is this; send back your RSVP with your regrets and then go out and have yourself a good fish dinner with the money. A Fillet-O- Fish burger at McDonald’s with a Coke and a large order of fries…yea, that would be good.

The Dark Knight

My involvement with Batman goes back to 1943 when I played Robin to my brother’s Batman. (that’s me on the left) Our costumes were fashioned by my mother and aunt out of cheesecloth. These were not some kind of Halloween costumes either, they were everyday play costumes. Of course living on a ranch we were rather isolated, so playing all day in Batman and Robin costumes didn’t subject us to ridicule from city kids.
That was 65 years ago. I hardly recognize the Batman character anymore. He’s now some sort of high-tech robot with a “utility belt” that has every conceivable weapon imaginable. I noticed Robin got chucked somewhere along the way too. I suppose today’s kids probably play Batman on computer games. So much for healthy outdoor play…
But all that aside, the real reason I wanted to see this movie was to see what all the Heath Ledger fuss was about. I have no complaints but I don’t know if his acting is all that award worthy. Jack Nicholson was also nominated for a Golden Globe for his portrayal of the Joker so maybe there is something about the character that escapes me.. .maybe its something about acting with face paint, I don‘t know. What really gets me though is I thought my brother and I whipped the Joker good back in 1943, I’m surprised he’s still around. That guy just won’t go down.

Defiance

Another Holocaust movie. “Earth to Hollywood, earth to Hollywood,… Hello?” I know you have some sacred cows but this cow has been milked to death and its carcass is starting to stink up the barn. Its time to close the casket lid on the dark foul odor of the past and step out into the new light of hope and change. Step out of your limos and breathe in the fresh sweet air of love and forgiveness that is sweeping over our land. Embrace the future, dwell not on the stench of the past.

The Black Balloon

This is an Australian film about a military family with two teen age boys, one with autism. They move to a new neighborhood and are confronted with all the prejudice and misunderstanding one might expect from neighbors and school mates. I suspect that the Autism Council of Australia may have had a hand in the production of this film. I’m sure it will be shown at schools and at Autism awareness meetings everywhere. This film either leaves you depressed or encouraged depending on your mood and your willingness to see, graphically, some of the difficulties encountered by having an autistic teenage son in an otherwise normal middleclass family.

Australia

No question, this film gets the BOOT!
I went to my thesaurus to see if I could find some adjective to describe how bad this film is, a word that hadn’t been used already buy some other critic….no luck, they have all been used. I’ll tell you how bad this film is. Wal-mart refused to buy it for their “One Dollar DVD Bargain Bins.” “These are hard times,” I was told a spokesman said, “people don’t have money to throw away on this sort of crap.” Stuck with all those worthless DVD’s, Fox tried to unload them in a New Jersey land fill but was stopped by the EPA. They were afraid some kid might dig one up fifty years from now and become ill from watching it,” Cultural Contamination” I believe is what they called it.
Australia was produced, directed , and the story written by Baz Luhrmann. He also had a hand in writing the screenplay as well as the lyrics for the title song. Someone in Hollywood should break all of his fingers so he won’t be able to ever write again.

Waltz With Bashir

This is an animated film from Israel. In 1982 the Israeli Defense Forces allowed the Lebanese Phalangist militiamen to slaughter and murder thousands of Palestinian men women and children in a Lebanese concentration camp. This film depicts one Israeli soldier’s reoccurring nightmares and emotional trauma from having been there. Israeli Defense Forces could have easily prevented this atrocity yet they choose to look the other way and do nothing. International outrage (except from the United States) condemned, but was powerless to punish those responsible for allowing this crime against humanity to happen. Israel’s powerful friend and protector, the United States Of America, who supplies the war tools (aircraft, bombs, tanks, munitions, etc). would not permit it. However, history shows us, and the Bible confirms, that as the great wheel of history turns, those who are on the bottom will one day be on top.
Eventually the strong become weak and the weak become strong. Eventually the great War Crimes Tribunal will reconvene and the Palestinians, with their laundry list of grievances, will no doubt be first in line. Meanwhile, as history’s big wheel keeps on turn’n, Palestinian cities keep on burn’n…bodies, bodies, bodies float’n down the river…

Slumdog Millionaire

If someone was trying to get a confession out of me all they would have to do is say they were going to send me to a slum in India if I didn’t talk - I would confess in a New York minute. I would tell them anything they wanted to know! Watch this film and you’ll know why.

Synecdoche New York

This film left me so confused that I was forced to use one of my lifelines; I checked with Mick LaSalle’s review of the film in the S.F. Chronicle hoping for guidance. No help - I’m still confused.

The Wrestler

Mickey Rourke is the big winner in this film. His career has been a rollercoaster ride of semi-successes and semi-failures. But now, finally at age 56, he has hit one out of the park. I have never seen a better fit between actor and part. He was “The Ram,” He was so convincing I thought I was watching a documentary. No one could play the part of a wrestler and be that convincing with a flimsy body. No way - not even with a ton of special effects. Mickey was the real deal. He not only acted the part he looked the part. He has a convincing wrestlers body with all the bulk and muscle in the right places. Thats because he knows his way around a gym - his father was a bodybuilder. He also knows what being in the ring is all about having been a boxer for several years.
This film was also timely. The Ram, having to beg for a demeaning job at a delicatessen counter, had to take this humiliating step because he ran out of money. Its a step we will see a lot of proud American men taking before this year is out. I was very impressed with Mr. Rourke, I hope he wins an academy award.

Standard Operating Procedure (Documentary)

I remember back in art school seeing old lithographs and engravings of torture methods used during the inquisition. Pope Sixtus and the Catholic Monarchs of Spain, Isabella I and Ferdinand II, used every torture method imaginable to rid the world of heretics. I never dreamed that America could or would one day engage in such barbaric behavior. But that day came in 2004 when the Abu Ghraib torture party became public. That’s what this documentary is about, that Abu Ghraib torture party. We witness Americans torturing other human beings and laughing about it as if it were a frat party. Even history’s masters of torture, the Catholics, were amazed at this shameful display of American behavior. When asked, an Arch Bishop at the Vatican said, “The torture? A more serious blow to the U.S. than the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks, except that the blow was not inflicted by terrorists but by Americans against themselves.”
I grew up believing in the old B-Western standard of ethical behavior. I can’t imagine the Lone Ranger torturing some guy to find out where his hideout is located. It's just not the American way. There is a book titled, The Lone Ranger’s Code of the West, values and ethics of the legendary champion of justice, by Jim Lichtman. It spells out just what the Lone Ranger would do if he was confronted with an ethical or moral dilemma. I suggest it be standard issue for all new Army recruits so that they might have some idea of how Americans should act, morally and ethically.

Made In America (Documentary)

The Bloods and the Crips are rival gangs in south central Los Angeles. (Yes, where you’ll find the original McDonalds) Both gangs formed in the early seventies after the Watts riots. They continue their blood feud to this day. It is a feud reminiscent of the Tutsis and the Hutus in Rwanda. And don’t think electing Barack Oboma is going to change things, this cancer is malignant and its too late for chemo. Murder, drug trafficking, extortion, and robbery, are just some of their activities. If you think this is just a small bunch of street hoodlums guess again. The Bloods boast a membership of over thirty thousand nation wide and the Crips about half that number. That’s the size of a small city. It’s African American against African American in a fight to the death. The only part the whites have played in all this was to create the conditions. They did it through discrimination and neglect.
If this topic interests you I suggest you watch this documentary.

Man on Wire (Documentary)

This is a documentary about Philippe Petit’s tight rope walk between the World Trade Center towers in 1974. It is done well with actual footage taken at the time and some recreations. Watching all the planning and preparations that was needed I was amazed that this small group of Frenchmen could actually pull off such a stunt. But they did - with spectacular results. Petit grabbed the attention of the whole world with this half hour of daring acrobatics. The WTC was unpopular at the time and the office space was mostly un-rented. All that changed after Philippe’s walk. A cynic would say that the tower guards were told to divert their eyes so as to let this spectacle proceed. It would have been prudent for the New York Port Authority to deny any complicity should things have gone wrong.

I’ve Loved You So Long

This is a French film so it is filled with love, poetry, cigarettes, fountains, lonely cafés, sad eyes, happy, brighter than they should be children, intellectual jousting around the dinner table, old men who don’t talk but smile at little children a lot, lots of talk and kissing in the kitchen, and funny looking cars. I won’t tell you what its about but it starts with a lonely woman waiting for someone at the airport. Who is she, who is she waiting for, where has she been, what did she do, why did she do it…all that will be revealed as the ball of twine slowly unravels. It ends when the last bit of twine is pulled off the core. I don’t expect you will find this film at your local multi-plex theater so you will probably have to rent it.

Milk

…..while all this was going on I was doing a series of ceramic cowboys and listening to George and Tammy sing, Two Story House. “….you’ve got your story and I’ve got mine,..together we live in a two story house”

Frost/Nixon

Why anyone would exhume Richard Nixon’s image for a film about an old interview with David Frost is beyond me. The film is so-so with the best part being the late night phone call from Nixon to Frost and the worst part being the obnoxious “hippie” character. In spite of all that here’s why I want you to see this film.
In 1962 my wife Alice was working for the phone company at the Bermuda building in downtown Oakland, CA. One day after taking her to lunch I was returning to my car and as I turned the corner here was Richard Nixon and a few of his people coming up the street. He was running for Governor of California at the time having lost his presidential bid two years before. He was shaking hands with people as they walked by. So I walked up and shook his hand. Now I’m a kind of handshake aficionado so I remember it well. He had a small white hand, almost the color of alabaster. His shake was not something you can describe with the usual, “clammy“ or “limp” or “firm“ or any thing like that. With his hand in mine it felt like I was holding a white rubber glove filled with Jergens Lotion. It had a kind of non-human “squishy” feel about it.

Anyway here’s the deal. (I’ll assume you know about the Kevin Bacon six degrees of separation thing) There’s a scene near the end of the film where Kevin Bacon shakes Richard Nixon’s hand. Now if we add a new dimension to the six degrees game by connecting my handshake with Nixon and the Kevin Bacon handshake with Nixon,… and then we add you reading my review about it, ….do you see what I’m getting at? It will make a great opening line at a party or with a blind or computer date, “Do you know that I saw Kevin Bacon shake Nixon’s hand and I know someone who saw Kevin Bacon shake Nixon’s hand who actually did shake Nixon’s hand?” We’re grabb’n at straws here, but these are hard times….

The Reader

This film gets the BOOT
If you go to see this film here is my prediction; You pay your money and after about fifteen minutes into the film you will find yourself knee deep in slop. By the time the credits are rolling at the end of the film you will be completely submerged in a cesspool of toxic waste. You will run home from the theater, burn your clothes and take a long hot shower.
Here in an alternative; for the price of a ticket you can get three “Happy Meals” at your local McDonalds. A far better deal, - and far better for your system too!

Burn After Reading

After stumbling last year the Coen Brothers have regained their balance. They are back in form and once again they’re shooting those half court three pointers. All the actors (and there is an impressive bunch) put on a good show for the C-Bros. and the result is a most excellent and entertaining film. I don’t love many films but this is one I would ask out for a second date.